You've seen them on your drives, the middle aged men in their skin tight lycra showing off a little too much. Or you've been stuck behind them on the road, cursing them from inside the car begging them to move out of your way. Cyclists the bane of your existence until one day you don't know what compelled you to do so, you become one.
It's a trickier hobby than you think and surprisingly expensive but it doesn't have to be. By no means should your first bike be the ten thousand dollar carbon fiber spaceship with aero bars, it shouldn't even be a $750 second hand race bike, cut your teeth on the $100 Craigslist special.
My first proper road bike was this blue beauty. The St. Tropez, old fashioned gear lever, no water bottle holder, a seat that was a bit of a pervert and failing brakes. I love it.
Lesson One: Don't bite off more than you can chew
The St. Tropez was a great teacher, often I'd spend more time repairing the bike than I would riding it. Pedals would fall off, bolts would come loose, the chain would snap. Each time something went wrong on the bike and I had to fix it, It became an intimate dance of man and mechanical machine. On these expensive bikes with their electronic gear shifts and carbon ceramics, if something goes wrong you're proper fucked. Unless you know them intimately you won't know how to fix their little quirks. Get an old clunker to start
Lesson Two: You're going to fall. Get over it
It might be embarrassing but it's just part of it. I was riding with my friend to another friends house, once I hit his driveway I completely forgot about the clips. In a inevitable slow fall I realized my mistake, luckily my friend caught me by the armpit and the landing was soft.
Red lights will be your enemy when you first start. Trying to wiggle your foot free is the hardest thing on the planet it seems but you'll get the hang of it. A rite of passage if you will.
On a recent ride, a man was shouting at me as I was passing him, I realized he was saying "HEY! Can I ask you a question? You look like you ride well and I'm new to the area."
In my head I was saying "Shit, now I have to unclip." And my prediction was right. I was going to screw up the dismount and I fell right on the man.
"Oh well you may not be able to ride that well."
Nice man, turns out to be a Catholic Priest, just back from Switzerland, where he was cycling. He looked at my bloody knee and said "God bless you" With a very fake smile I went on my way.
Lesson Three: Don't be a Dick
Not everyone in the world knows what direction you're going, so use hand signals when turning. Get a little bell if you're on paths that also welcome walkers and runners, if they have their back turned it's your responsibility to let them know you're coming. Don't just assume and run someone over, not a great look.
Lesson Four: You're not winning the Tour De France
If you go on a 50 mile Sunday ride, not everyone you see the next day needs to know your stats. They probably don't care you averaged twenty one miles an hour, or that it was mostly uphill. Just enjoy the ride man.
Lesson Five: Go with a Buddy
It is way more fun, good chat and café stops. Going at it alone requires a ton of discipline. Something that very well may come from consistent riding. Going with someone especially when first starting out is wise. Ride with someone who has a bit of experience so they can catch you when you fall, set the pace and know when a break is needed.
So in summary:
- Don't spend too much on your first bike
- Ride before you buy all the gear
- Determine what type of rider you want to be
- Don't go alone at the start
- Have fun
- Don't be a dickhead.
- Get the padded arse shorts
-Jackson